Day 30 - rehearsing in class

As promised, I did my scene in Alan's class today (after an extensive class discussion about our Shame Lists) and I felt a good kind of nervous/excited to rehearse in front of my colleagues. My partner (Chris from Canada) and I kind of had this weird energy shift halfway through our scene (which is to be performed as a Comedy) and we got extremely serious. We kind of just... let it happen. It was an interesting experience. After we finished we took a big breathe and turned to face the class, expecting to receive notes from Alan. Instead he said, "Well, if we were three or four months into the 2-year program, this would be the moment when the actors would look at each other and say, "where do you wanna go from?" and continue their work. But here we are, three weeks into the summer." Basically, he was complimenting us. I felt elated for a moment. Apparently we did some good work. Then he started really grilling Chris and my heart went out to him, who was getting asked some tough questions. We did a portion of our scene again, but mostly ended up in discussion. I was so happy to be working in front of people - it felt fantastic. I loved it. Now I can start working with Matt on the next scene! Oh, one thing Alan said directly to me that I meant to include - he asked me "How is your work going?" and I said, "It's going. I can do better." and he said, "Yes?" and I said, "Yes. On the part where I'm telling him why I won't stay - I meant to more anticipate the reasons he might give me to stay and then discount them with all my reasons before he can try to convince me, but it felt like a grocery list more than honesty." And he said, "Well, you're a talented actress, and that's what comes of having such a big soul... like yours... you've got to invest that whole soul into your work, and there's a lot of it to invest." Perhaps a different kind of compliment, in its own way. I'm sure the rest of the summer won't consist of puppies and rainbows, but for today I felt like my efforts were recognized, which is always nice.

Tonight I went to Central Park with Christian, the youngest kid in our group. He is a 17-year old ballet dancer and a really brilliant guy. He and I get along extremely well - I've never had a "little brother" in my life, so he's really the only person I can imagine feeling like an older sister to (other than Los Mettenet but we are all truly sisters)... Anyway, we got some dinner and were eating on a bench in the park watching these guys hit baseballs. [INTERJECTION! Magical moment: the LIGHTING on this night was so beautiful. It was that early-evening Amber color. It was truly exquisite pouring in through the trees and over the people, swing-set of children, and bikers. I loved it very much.] Then crowds just started STREAMING into the park - and we kind of felt unsettled, wondering where they were going. We both said "I feel left out!" like we were missing something really big! Turns out, the Orchestra was playing in the park tonight! I can't believe I didn't know. I came home after we ate and just collapsed on the couch. Then suddenly my roomie said, "Hey, can you hear the Orchestra warming up? Big free concert tonight." Ugh. I blew it. But the number of PEOPLE was overwhelming... good to know that New Yorkers are appreciating their art on a Tuesday evening!

I have a day without breaks tomorrow - back to back from 9-6.

Love to all.