An Update fit for Kings

Photos worth sharing (extensive update below!):

Keir and I playing piano.

Katelyn and I after our dinner date. I like my profile freckles. I never knew I had so many.

Ummm? Candid?

Being a cold Bakkhai.

Practice room survival 101 with Miss Ruby!

SO, I intend to give this blog the righteous update it deserves. It has been far too long.

Because I live in Utah slash Antarctica, Autumn (my favorite season, beloved above all others) lasted for about 2 days. The weather was absolutely phenomenal and divine and I loved it so much. It makes my heart sing :) Today was sleety. What's up with that? It kills my collar bone - the cold really brings about a pain that I can't really ease. It's rough. :(

The Bakkhai was a tremendous success. We had a wonderful following of supporters and had an absolute riot with that production. I feel so honored and blessed that I got to try my hand at a Theatre Dept project - who knows if that will happen again. I learned SO MUCH by discovering the differences and similarities between departments and "genres" (Music/Theatre and Classical/Rock...) It was a wonderful learning experience, not to mention an alter ego I had never explored! Playing the character of "Wrath" will do things to you - in every facet of life.

In other news, I'm finally catching up on schoolwork and music. I love having the practice time to get into the catacombs and plunk out my notes. Ruby has been my fearless partner in crime and we have been kicking butt at memorizing for Opera scenes.

Now that it's Autumn, all things wonderful and pumpkin flavored have once again emerged into my life in the form of pancakes, pie, cookies, bread, and lattes: all pumpkin flavored, all delightful to smell, taste, look upon, and hold (when warm, and not sticky).

The truth is, my energy level post-show is nearly exploding out of my body except that it has nowhere to go - I have no place to focus all of this pent-up energy that was previously channeled through rehearsals. I am trying to stay focused on school and music and work, but my exuberance for life and performing sometimes creates an anxiety that I can't quench. Time to start Yoga again in addition to nightly meditation/journaling. I miss the studio, and my peace that I find on the mat.

Love to all, and wishing you well. (If anyone reads this anymore)

Happiest girl posts a happiest blog.

Autumn is upon us. Summer has officially ended. My favorite time of the year has finally arrived! I was sitting at my bus stop yesterday morning enjoying these, the first of the gutter leaves I've seen this year.

While this looks fantastically dramatic and pensive, I actually put the camera on timer and didn't get back and sit down on time. Sooo there's that. Enjoy girl at bus stop.

On the way to Weber to perform The Bakkhai. This is a big tire that went from the ground past my window in the car. I took a photo. Enjoy tire.

Weber. Theater. Where we will do theatre. And ACTING.

Sweaty girl, happy girl, acting girl. Ta dahhh!

Life is wonderful. Today, especially, but just in general. I am so happy! I have so many good things to love and appreciate, as well as so many wonderful people to enjoy. Now, I get a night off and I get to catch up on my life and my "homeworks."

Love to all.

"An artist cannot fail. It is a success to be one."

-Charles Cooley

Performing. Or not.

BYU asked us to leave before we got to perform on Monday. While it was upsetting, we respect them for making that decision rather than asking us to censor or compromise our show. Regardless, it is a greek tragedy for goodness' sakes. We were playing by Euripides' rules, speaking his words, and hoping to present our audiences with challenging and thought-provoking material.

See us on the news.

Beautiful

Birds.

[insert sigh of relief here]

A poem given to me by my best friend:

Humility

 

I have everything to learn.

This will be what keeps me.

What points me toward humility:

Knowing how very little I know

How very far I have to go.

As for now . . .I know nothing.

I know I know nothing.

I have been blessed.

Last night I was about ready to scream because I was so overwhelmed with music to learn, assignments to do, books to read, and laundry that has literally swallowed everything in my room except a 5'7 space for me to sleep in. Then I got a text from mom that they had received a letter from my insurance company calling off the hospital bills from my bicycle accident (Oct '08). Maybe it was because I was so tired, but maybe it was because my heart was bursting with gratitude, but I cried some happy tears and fell asleep.

"Thank you, Universe. Send me more."

Too much

There's too much right now! There is too much in my heart and my head and I'm exhausted and tonight was an all-dance rehearsal and I'm sweaty and tired and sore and frustrated and I need my body to cooperate even though it's doing an amazing job and I'm so grateful to have such a functional and capable system working for me but good grief I am delirious.

"Wouldn't it be a grand surprise if we found that within our own beings, our own breath, our own unique voices, lies waiting a superb power for healing, for helping us gently toward wholeness, and for uniting us with one another and more fully with ourselves?"

I still have loads of laundry and my Italian homework to do. Sometimes I just don't know how I do this college nonsense.

being a paid actor rocks

'Evening.

Tonight we rehearsed and got notes on the first third of the show. It's basically kicking butt at this point and I am so proud of our production. Everyone works so hard. The morale is high. It's a great group. Tonight we sang a few tracks in the studio for our cast recording - see photos below.

I tried to put my headphones on and they rebelled and smacked me straight in the lip, which got red and puffy and bled on the inside. So upsetting. See my upset face? It was a sad situation.

I love making music. I love feeling rhythm and hearing harmonies and making my voice do new and exciting things. I've never sung ROCK like I sing it in this show. I roar some pretty mighty notes, ya'll. Come and see it*

Love love!

*rated a little over PG-13 for some males who play females, and a dude kissing a dude. Sex and wine references throughout due to our worship of the God Dionysus.

Birthday delight

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday. I got the best present in the whole world - a reunion with my immediate family in good ole Las Vegas! I flew in on Saturday night and out on Monday morning. A brief visit, but a wonderful way to celebrate.

Vance girls! Mom, Alison, Tristen, and Nia.

Papa, Nia, Wesley.

Tyson (Little Bud).

Nia and Tyson in the fountains at the park.

Tristen and Nia making miracles happen. 

Oooh candid.

Wesley dominating.

Simeon and me-self.

Tristen, Tyson, Nia. Note the starfish hands.

The three September Birthdays! Sim, Alison, Tristen. Careful what you wish for...

Our fabulous cake.

The Vance siblings September 2009.

Art that Inspires

Last night Ruby and I were looking through a book of art by Brian Kershisnik. It really moved us. He has some phenomenal quotes that I wish I'd written down. I was loving it.

Gardening

Thorn and Sparrows

A Dangerous Greeting

Why do some things touch us so deeply? How does art do that?

"I wawnt that."

O, how I am aching for you, New York!

I can't sleep. I have been reading my journal from the summer, and missing the city so much. I miss my walk from the Subway to the apartment at night. I miss the lemon cupcakes something awful. I crave the smell of coffee from cafes and the ease of jumping on a bus to ride downtown. I miss the language of taxis honking and the humid air swallowing everything and everyone. Central Park has been calling me for days... to see the lake, the random musicians, the enamored couples (of all ages) awkwardly posing for photos or holding hands or scolding children or whatever else couples do.

I feel like I left a big part of me there this summer. Probably so that I would have to go back and retrieve it.

Sometime all full with feasting on your sight
And by and by clean starved for a look;
Possessing or pursuing no delight,
Save what is had or must from you be took.

-W. Shakespeare

I miss you so much, Manhattan.

dream

The other morning I woke up to my own soft laughter. It took me a second to remember where I was, and why I was laughing. I had been dreaming that I was chasing a rabbit through a meadow. I was wearing a sundress and my feet were bare. It was dusk. The grass was thigh-high and smelled so strongly of summer that I was still smelling it as I remembered the dream. I was running and laughing, getting more eager as the rabbit dashed in a new direction. I remember seeing my hands clearly splayed out in front me, reaching for the animal, my fingernails painted red like they have been for months now. I had my adult hands, my current hands... but my mind, my energy, my laugh... they were all far more youthful. At one point my bonnet flew off, and that was when I first knew I had been wearing a bonnet. The sun sank lower. My heart sped up... it sounded like a war drum. It was like shaky camera-work in a film. I was suddenly standing in a forest of trees that bordered this meadow, I was gasping for breath, and I had forgotten all about the rabbit. I was disappointed that I had let it get out of sight - and I hadn't meant to be in the forest yet anyways, so I looked at the sun setting and hurried back into the meadow. That's the only time in the dream I felt worry of any kind.

The meadow was safe, the evening air cool. I walked slowly through it and saw the rabbit still bounding away, which made me laugh, remembering how I had chased it. The wind was whispering protection all around me. I was happy... So happy that I woke up just moments before my alarm went off - enough to open my eyes, find myself laughing, remember that I was in bed at home in the attic, and then that I had been dreaming. I loved the smell of that grass.

I am open to opinions on the significance of this dream.

Love to all.