Day 47 WAS WET.

I just wrote a long long long post about the rainy day I experienced in New York and then copied it so I could paste it after I uploaded the photos and then forgot I had copied text so I copied a photo and lost the text. Anyways. I'm too lazy to re-write it. Just know that "the beauty of the rain is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls..."

Enjoy some photos:

(yes, this is me tap dancing on the subway)

Day 46 is BETSAYYYY!

My dear good friend Betsy Broadwater is here from Salt Lake City! She arrived this evening after my Bikram Yoga class. She was a pro and rode the bus from the airport, meeting me just two blocks from my apartment! We are now sitting on the couch enjoying our precious reunion.

I am so happy she is here. We will have a blast and have lots of photos for ya'll to enjoy.

This is probably the best part of my day: completing crossword puzzles. Most of my efforts are co-efforts with Matt - we killed the crosswords today.

Physical Acting was AMAAAAZING today. We had two doses because of classes Ken missed/will miss with us. We were combined with Group F. I can't adequately explain the exercises. I wish I had been able to record my partnership with Johnny - a kid from Group F - on video. It was one of the coolest experiences I've had here at Circle this summer. I'll never forget it.

Lots of love to all.

Subway Rhythm

(enjoyed as I sat on a bench at 79th and Broadway)

Day 45 tastes like sugar and carbs

Greetings, earthlings. I am super bummed because I forgot the camera today and there were sooo many moments I wanted to photograph - particularly the moment I came out of school tonight and saw the rain POURING down on hundreds of New Yorkers and their umbrellas. It was fantastic. I wished I could have taken a snapshot of the intersection at Broadway and 50th by the subway. I would have stood on a wall in this little plaza and captured the four corners of the street PACKED with multi-colored umbrellas, protecting people from the humid rain. It was a nice moment.

In Voice class today we did a cool exercise. We sat in a big circle, we were handed large sheets of paper, and a pile of crayons was dumped in the center of the class. We closed our eyes and envisioned "My Voice as it is." We scrambled for colors and began to draw this idea. This exercise is taken from the book "Freeing the Natural Voice" that I quoted a while back. Then we closed our eyes, rested, and envisioned "My Voice as I would like it to be." Then we repeated the exercise and drew this idea. THEN we got into groups of 5 and showed the group members, one by one, our drawings (one after the other) and the person viewing our drawing was to blurt out stream of consciousness, what they saw, impressions the drawing made, etc. Then we were to flip over the drawing and record the words that we remembered them saying. Some of mine were...

"My Voice as it is:" vibration, shield, bright, green, growing.

"My Voice as I would like it to be:" rooted, reaching, gold, resonating, centered.

Interesting things we do in acting school. :-)

I wanted to share a video I came across the other day when I was searching for something about hummingbirds. This is on some lady's blog, I didn't even read any other posts but this one is interesting and you ought to watch the video - it is remarkable.

Ooh! Lightning just struck. I love wearing my gollashes.

Love to all.

"The score is a palindrome!"

Nearest and dearest, it finally happened: we did our scene for the class. It was truly the day of anxiety release for me. I didn't realize that it was such a source of stress for me. I was worried about what my peers would think and worried about being true and worried about so many things that come with being in a real acting class for the first time in my life.

In our class Alan opened us to the idea of doing "reality checks" where we describe what is happening to us physically, or another option is to tell a story... these things kind of take you to a place that you can go from to move into the scene and the mindset you need for your character, etc. (That is a poor explanation but I'm tired okay?) When we got up to in front of the class Matt shared a story. My heart was pounding and I felt nervous but I didn't want to voice anything because I wanted to use the energy for the scene. We started the work and it was unlike any rehearsal - we were both tremendously present - we dropped a good amount of lines and went off the text now and then but it served us. I stuck to my motives and objectives and felt the reality of the situation like I hadn't in our rehearsals. It was really good for us, I think. A very validating experience. Again, Alan remarked that I am "a great actress" and while he had a couple of suggestions for us he really felt that the rehearsal served us well and that our work was true. It was fantastic. I was so thrilled. We did that one run and then ... sat down. I think we had both expected to be up there for about a half hour going through exercises to connect us to the work or something, but we were kind of able to just enjoy the success of that rehearsal. It was a great relief and an awesome memory that I'll think of when I look back on this program.

After Dance I came back to my apartment with Christian, Regan, and Alex via the bus. We had a fun ride.

I made cookies for them.

Christian was making fun of my yellow rubber gloves and snapped this photo.

Back at school for Singing Technique. We have that big break from 2:45-5:30 so by the time we get back to the school we are all sooo tired and Christian and I always say, "Now time for the class at 8 o'clock at night" because we are in the basement and it's late and we are exhausted. I sang in class and got some decent technique work done, although I still struggle belting the C#. I think I'll just have to slide up to it.

Afterwards I went back to Regan's Boarding House (a place I'm considering moving into next summer) and we passed a gorgeous flower stand. Look at these beauties. Grow, you marvelous wonders!

Oh! On Monday in Sybil's class she chose me to read a scene where King Richard is in jail and starts to realize that his thoughts on Death are flawed - that Death is truly what rules a King's court, letting the King believe his skin is made of "brass impregnable" and that he will never die, but Richard starts to realize that his life is not as protected as he would believe. It was extremely difficult for me to do what Sybil was asking. The last time I worked for her she told me not to utter ANYTHING unless I was speaking from the loins. This time I held myself to that standard which resulted in a lot of pauses and some slow speech. She changed the rules and wanted me to pick up the pace but stay connected and all these other prompts she was giving me. I felt exhausted after reading 10 lines of text. After class I asked her why she chose me for that difficult speech. She said, "Because you get to the truth quickly, dahling. Don't expect to win with Sybil. I'm always changing the rules." I love that class.

Love to all.

Day 43 feels like a milkshake

My head feels like it's full of concrete.

Welcome to the post du jour! As promised, I tried to do some adventuring today. Here it is, here's the big adventure: I took the 1 Train instead of the C Train! Ha. (This means I walked two blocks West instead of East today and got on at a different stop and took a new train.) If I don't leave early enough to walk, I take the train. Today was one of those days. I put my mascara on while riding. The woman next to me said, "You ought to get a reward for being able to do that." (She did not proceed to reward me, fyi.)

I am currently listening to "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice. This song came on during Yoga tonight and it was like seeing a friend I haven't seen in months - totally refreshing and wonderful. I had to listen again now that I'm home.

Also among my weekly goals was to record more photographic evidence of my existence. Here are some stories:

Kate and I were among the first to arrive at Circle in the morning. Today we both had curly hair, so we took a photo of our curly-haired, punctual selves. (I look really happy for some reason, I just noticed that.)

Later, after classes, I was talking to Matt and Luci in the lobby complaining about how I wanted something to eat and suddenly a girl walked in with a tray of bagels, fruit, and doughnuts/muffins and said, "Eat these." How could we object? It was a sign from the Universe, extending it's fruits to me (literally) and I ate a muffin. This is slightly horrifying to share with you all, but here it is:

This evening in yoga we were asked to focus on some gift/promise/goal within ourselves. I sent up a prayer that Matt and I will be true tomorrow when we rehearse our scene in class - I anticipate a rough go - the whole thing has been like a roller-coaster for me, somedays loving it and somedays wishing we had chosen something else.

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

-Portia (The Merchant of Venice, Act IV scene 1)

Love love love to each and every one.

Day 42: BREAKING NEWS

This morning I was leaving my room and saw a cockroach on the wall. Umbrella in hand, I reacted without thinking and smashed it on the end of the umbrella. It was almost an inch long.

Tonight I heard screams and crashes coming from Liz and Erika in the kitchen. I opened my bedroom door to see Erika on all fours on top of the kitchen table, still fighting off one of the cockroaches that had been discovered in the cupboard and which had scurried into Liz's box of Ziploc bags. Liz ran into her room and curled into a ball on her bed. She wants to move out immediately.

Having lived in Hawaii for a summer, I thought I would have more of a stomach for this kind of thing. I remained very calm outwardly but inside I could feel my stomach churning and got nauseous. I HATE BUGS OF ALL KINDS. Luckily (I guess?) the other two that were found were only about a half inch long each. I am shuddering even now to think of it.

We raided our pantries and threw away all cardboard boxes, putting everything in Ziploc bags. We hunted for more of the sickening pests. We fought a good fight. Then we agreed that the Exterminator would be phoned no later than 6a.m. and that it was time to give it a rest. I still have the heeby jeebies. I was poised with Erika's sandal in hand as she dumped out items from the cupboard onto the floor. We were all sufficiently unsettled by this business.

In an attempt to calm Liz I said, "The thing is... cockroaches don't eat humans."

She laughed nervously. This is war.

Day 42: a new week begins!

Some photos of Group D for your viewing pleasure:

Kristin, Me (enlightened), Chris (first scene partner), Katherine

Trevor, Luci, Matt (current scene partner), Katie, Gerlisa, Christian

Christian, Lauren, Kate, Trevor, Regan, Katie, Alex

This is my family, as it were. People absent from group participation: Gianmarco and... just Gianmarco? Probably in a practice room. That's where he always is. Oh! Also missing is Laura (French girl) whom I adore.

Today I met my good friend Claire Gorton for brunch down on Canal Street. She has been doing an internship in D.C. this summer and came up to the City for the weekend to see her friend. While our rendezvous was brief, it was delightful and I adore her. She is going to France for the next year... (Good luck Claire! You are amazing. Don't forget to eliminate Crazymakers!)

Today I was feeling kind of weird. I felt like too much was happening in my head and my heart. I didn't get to go to Yoga so my body was mad at me. I took a bus ride home up Broadway and once it got to my stop I just decided not to get off. I stayed on the bus and rode for another 40 blocks or so. I watched people on the street and people on the bus. Then I got off, boarded a bus back downtown, and came home. It was nearly an hour of bus riding. It was nice... Kind of the closest option I have to "going for a drive" out here, and I needed it.

A storm just happened. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled. It was dark. Then it got light. The rain continued. It was very lovely. I took a few photos of my alleyway view (this is what I see out my bedroom window). I don't know why New York is so sad this summer, but it sure does cry a lot. Last night I woke up to LOUD LOUD LOUD rain beating against my window. It is starting up again now. I like it, and it makes me thirsty.

pretty waterfall

Also, in case anyone needs extra magical protection this week, I suggest you use this Harry Potter spell (compliments of wikipedia):

Incendio

Pronunciation: /ɪnˈsɛndi.oʊ/ in-SEN-dee-oh

Description: Produces fire.

That is all! Have a great week!

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Day 41. Blerpader.

"Ommmm..." Yoga was killer today. We had a sub. She was merciless. I loved it. At one point she said, "Let it all out on the Yoga mat. If you can't express it here, I don't know where you can." Amen, sister. Make me do Bridge Pose for 8 breaths, I don't care!

The majority of my morning/afternoon was spent looking for a dress for the cabaret. I finally found one on sale at H&M - it is a black charleston dress - very apropos for Kate from Wild Party. Doot duh duh doo! I don't know if I've mentioned that I'm singing "Life of the Party," but I am, and it is a total blast. I'm really glad I'm doing an upbeat number. I had a choreography session today with Justin, our dance instructor, Kim, our Musical Performance teacher, and Noel, the accompanist. Working with these people is truly an honor - I feel so blessed to be exposed to such professionalism in a summer program. Working with them individually was really different than working with them in the group setting - it was great. I had a successful, productive rehearsal and I'm SO happy that I have a movement number. It's different than my usual dramatic, tragic love-song park-and-barks.

The nicest moment of my day was eating my lunch in some cafe on 51st - Teresa's Something Something Cafe - and two ladies visiting from Toronto (hahaha) were drowning in maps and brochures of the city and saw me sitting alone reading and asked me for directions. The miracle was that I could tell them what to do. It was wonderful. It was similar to the moment in Spain when I suddenly understood everything that people were saying to me in Spanish and could respond adequately. They said, "You're such a nice girl. You must be a Christian or a mid-Westerner." Haha!! I thought to myself, "Are those the requirements to be considered a nice person???" But I said, "I'm both!" It was one of those moments you just smile to think about over and over.

Love to all.

Day 39 and scorpion domination

Okay. Tonight I went to Vinyasa Heat Yoga. Yes, it was as intense as it sounds. An hour and a half of the slipperiest yoga I've ever experienced in my life. It was like 110 degrees in that room. Why would I expose myself to this, you ask? Or, if you knew how yoga has become my healthiest addiction ever, you wouldn't ask at all. It is fantastic and good for me. I loved it. It was the hardest class I've been to so far this summer. Near the end of the session we did head stands, forearm stands, and then attempted the Scorpion pose by doing a forearm stand with our backs to the wall and slowly lowering our feet down the wall until we looked something like this:

This was the first night I've ever achieved Scorpion. It felt amazing. I apparently have a very bendy back. I think this is because of the all the back strengthening we've been doing in dance for the past few weeks at Circle. Afterwards I rested in Child's Pose for about five minutes just to compensate for all that back bending. It was so great. Such a good class.

Today was a rainy day. This makes it extra humid, and makes the buses extra crowded and extra wet with umbrellas crashing into people all over the place. Regardless, rain is the loveliest thing and is simply refreshing.

"To play truly means to be right, logical, coherent, to think, strive, feel and act in unison with your role."

-An Actor Prepares

Love to all.

Day 38! Only 25 days left...

I can't believe how quickly this summer is going by. It is breaking my heart to think how I'll be on a plane back to Utah pretty soon... although, I must say, I miss the mountains SO MUCH lately. I have been craving a good sunset over those Rockies for a few nights in a row. I'll be glad to see them still standing there when I return!

The interesting thing about being in a program like this, especially a summer intensive, is having a kind of out-of-body experience in terms of watching myself gain new skills. (numchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, acting skills, etc) I have had a few occasions where I will literally feel myself watching the exchange between myself and the teacher - seeing their observation actually sink in and click in my brain, and then going from there and trying to apply it to my work in another area. It's been pretty remarkable. I love that I get to go to rehearsal everyday, because that's essentially what I do. I rehearse/practice all of these new ways of sharing myself... from morning to night. I absolutely love it.

Also, I love watching my colleagues grow. Some of the kids in my group have made amazing strides already, and that is so satisfying as a peer. We are all growing, individually as well as collectively. It's pretty thrilling.

If you haven't been watching So You Think You Can Dance, you should watch clips of tonight's episode on youtube just to see Ellen - she was on the panel of judges tonight and is hysterical. I love dance! We are doing a Fosse routine this week (the Frug!!!!) to a number from Sweet Charity and it has been a riot. Myself and two other girls (with studio dance experience) are these feisty, hoity-toity chicks that walk down center as the number starts in this really prissy walk. It's fantastic. I should film a clip on my camera and try to post it...

Well, that's all I've got.

Loves to all yall's.

Day 37 consumes my energies

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears..."

Today was a total roller coaster ride, much like this conveniently-googled image:

I would go into lots of detail but most of it is highly personal insight I got while doing exercises in my classes. In Physical Acting I learned the importance of keeping the voice open and speaking sincerely, no matter how much pain I experienced (even if the "pain" came from keeping my elbow suspended in space and imagining that I couldn't move it to get free and that it was putting me in life-threatening danger). In Scene Study I realized that I am more whole than I was when I arrived to this program. I can feel myself putting my pieces back together... it feels gentle and secure. In Dance I learned that Bob Fosse was a genius and that I am going to kick our new dance routine's butt this week. At lunch I ate with Laura de Paris and she and I had a really interesting conversation about religion (she is Jewish) and we also talked about how we got to this point in our lives, what brought us together at that table for lunch today of all days. In Singing Technique I belted a C#. That was awesome and may never happen again... (of course it will). Tonight in Yoga I learned that I am not being completely true to my body and that I'm the one who has to live with it for the rest of my life and it deserves better. It takes care of me and gets me through my day. The least I can do is show some love.

I feel like something is going to happen soon. I'm excited for it, and I want to be there when it does.

Love to all.

Day 36 comes to a close

happiest girl.

1. woke up at 5a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep. watched the morning yawn itself awake while lying in bed looking out the window.
2. bused to school and really loved it... became overwhelmed by the fact that it might be impossible to go to every shop I desire to go to in this city.
3. rehearsed.
4. schooled. (enjoyed a reunion of happiness with Group D after the weekend.)
5. rehearsed more.
6. dropped books off at Lincoln Center library. lovely evening.
7. watched Back to the Future II and III with Matt and Kristin - this is a serious movie marathon. luckily we had lots of treats to sustain us. I love treats.
8. rode the subway home. walked four blocks and smelled cigarettes very strongly in the night air.

sleep.

morning elegance

good morning

Day 35: a quote

***

Develop an interest in life as you see it:

people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful sounds and interesting people.

Forget yourself.

-Henry Miller

Day 34 - The Day of Knowledge

I declared this day my Day of Knowledge. I woke up, walked to Barnes & Noble, got a drink and muffin in the cafe and sat at that bar looking out over Broadway from 10:00a.m. to 6:30p.m. I was reading The Artist's Way and doing all of the journaling and recording of quotes/thoughts that goes with reading a book like that. I was soaking up every phrase and every moment. I watched people quite a bit, resting my pen and my mind while I observed the behavior of those out on the street as well as the friends that sat on either side of me at the bar. The chair on my left was occupied by twelve different people throughout the day, and the chair on my right was occupied by three. I have pages and pages of notes recorded in my notebook from all the reading and observing I did today. I enjoyed it so much. I will talk about them a bit more below.

Dinner was super delicious macaroni from a cafe on Broadway at 71st called Cafe 71. It was so delicious. I also got a lemon cupcake (which have particularly cool meaning for me now, for those of you who know what happened that fateful night I ate a Magnolia lemon cupcake, haha!) and bought some macaroni to-go for my lunch tomorrow. It was really amazing macaroni, okay? ALMOST as good as Tristen's... Almost.

After dinner I dropped by the West Side Market for my groceries. I was carrying them home and whistling, happiest girl in the land. I love living here, love seeing and smelling and hearing all of the people and experiences around me. I bought the most delicious-looking nectarines ever from a fruit stand on the corner. Mmm I can't wait to eat them tomorrow morning for breakfast.

The other day I meant to include a story Matt told me about the most humid day in the world as experienced by Harlem: he walked out of his apartment on that INSANELY hot day and the streets were flooded with water - people had busted a fire hydrant to relieve themselves in the scorching heat. He said the streets were filled with people, naked Hispanic babies running around, and cop cars. He said a few cars were driving by the hydrants super slow like they were in a car wash, getting their tires all clean and taking advantage of some other fool's illegal acting out... I loved it. The way he told the story was the best - I wish I could describe it the way he did. He said it took him ten minutes to get to his subway station four blocks away because he could barely move through all the soaking wet, shouting, singing, laughing people, and then he walked through ankle-deep water to cross the street and get to the train. Gotta love the summer heat. (Christine, I know you would have been one to organize breaking the hydrant!)

***Quotes/thoughts that moved me today***

a very select few from sixteen pages of notes

• You will discover the joy of practicing your creativity. The process, not the product, will become your focus.
• Anger should be acted on, not acted out. (We often feel angry that we feel angry.)
• Art illuminates us. It casts a beam into the heart of our own darkness and says, "See?"
• Accurate criticism gives a sense of RELIEF.
• I asked mom if I've always loved to read and she said, "Always." We brainstormed various phases of literature I went through - Beverly Cleary, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Amelia Bedilia, Anita Stansfield romance novels, Ender's Game series, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter. Never any Mystery Novels and very few classics like "A Tale of Two Cities"
• Mom and I also talked about games I liked when I was young. She said, "You loved ponies, dolls, anything you could use your imagine with. You could make a game from a sprig of broccoli."
• Be kind to yourself! Ways I am kind to myself: socks, gerber daisies for my room.
• Write about the kind of God you believe in - a God of energy - a nontoxic idea of God.
• God was extravagant - so why can't we be? The Creator didn't place restrictions while creating - take snowflakes for example. EVERY SINGLE ONE is different!
• We try to be sensible... as though we have ANY proof that God is sensible!
• ART IS NOT ABOUT MAKING SOMETHING UP! IT IS ABOUT GETTING SOMETHING DOWN!
• Expect the Universe to support your dream.
• Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It's a closed system. It's egotism.

Challenge to anyone who made it this far in the blog: Complete the following sentence, "If I didn't have to do it perfectly I'd try _____."

Also, I made hard-boiled eggs tonight :)

Love to wall.

Day 33 - Ode to the Waltz King!

If I thought I'd experienced humidity in New York this summer I was kidding myself. TODAY was the hottest, most humid day I've experienced here. It is fabulous if you're not interested in remaining clean and dry. If you care about hygiene at all you'd be bothered - so naturally I'm unaffected!

Today was our long day - class from 9-6 with only one 45min break. Fridays also include tap dancing, which is a favorite of mine. I am not getting much better, but I am starting to remember why I like tap so much! In Jackie's Acting Technique class I was one of the participants for an exercise in relaxation and then sensory awareness. Four of us sat in chairs across from our "partner" and closed our eyes and breathed and went into relaxation/meditation. Then our partner came and shifted the weight of our arms, legs, and head to relieve any tension we held in our arms, hands, legs, ankles, neck, and face. Next we were asked to visualize any object and begin to explore it (eyes still closed) to see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, hear it, etc. I thought going into the exercise maybe I'd explore a fine-toothed comb, since that is something I could imagine pretty clearly, but then after my relaxation I was sitting there and suddenly visualized a bowl of hard-boiled eggs sitting in front of me. It was so unexpected - I smiled and picked an egg up. It was still in the shell. I held it for a while and felt the weight of it. My movements became extremely intricate (eyes remained closed the entire time) as I cracked it, peeled it, sliced it, and began to eat it. I could smell it, and taste it, and feel the difference in texture between the yolk and white, and I experienced several other sensations that are too detailed to write about here. It was so fascinating to me. I had not anticipated exploring an imaginary hard-boiled egg during my day today... not on "the list" of things to do... Nevertheless, very cool experience, and I loved hearing about my peer's experiences as well.

Tonight I joined Stephanie Sundine (you may remember her from a previous post on my day of getting lost and going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art) at the Kaye Theatre on the East Side for a production of Die Fledermaus. It took me back to my day in Music History when Dr. Neimoyer was talking about Strauss and played a portion of this overture I think and pointed out the "drag" between beats that was the "Strauss Trademark" I took away from that lecture. I love the classical training I'm getting. The show was very nicely done, though having been exposed to such a higher expectation of acting in the past few weeks I was really missing the sincerity onstage tonight. The voices were very good, and I was happy to have a free ticket in a great seat and wonderful company. Stephanie and I bused back to the West Side and she walked home with me. A huge storm had occurred while we were in the show so the streets were wet and everything smelled wet, which I love. It was a fun night. I'm excited to sleep and go to Yoga in the morning!

Love to all - enjoy your weekend!

Day 32 - happy girl :)

While riding home tonight I was sitting on the subway, rolling along, and leaned my head back. I smiled in spite of myself because I had this realization that I am literally spending my summer here, singing here, acting here, dancing here, living here. These moments happen quite frequently. I find them extremely encouraging and validating.

Today was a good day - our group has decided that we really like Thursdays. It starts out with half of our group in Singing Technique, then joined by the other eight and it is the best reunion - I really love these people as individuals. Some of them are less than professional, which gets very frustrating, but we get along for the most part. We then have Musical Performance class and that is always such a JOY to be in - watching each person work on their piece for the cabaret coming up in just a few weeks (ahhh!!!). It is coming up so fast. Then we have a lunch break, and then we go to Physical Acting. That class today was so intense. We did this exercise where we were walking and we were slowly pulled down by gravity more and more, but were given increasingly urgent news to deliver. It was crazy. Then we reversed it, so gravity lifted and we were closer to our destination and could deliver the news. It was kinda crazy.

After classes I went to a workshop at AADA (American Academy of Dramatic Art). It was designed to give tips for musical theatre auditions. I went with some kids from my group and we entered a "lottery" to get to sing in the workshop. We endured a few pretty terrible singers getting tips like, "Maybe you should bring this key down about three steps so that you can sing something in your range." Ehh... Anyway, I was sitting there and suddenly I hear "Alison Vance" announced. Gah! I jumped up, gave my music to the accompanist and sang my little heart out! There were probably 60 people in the workshop, and only 5 of us got to sing. I had a complete blast and felt really lucky to work with super esteemed adjudicators including Sara Lazarus who teaches at Circle.

Tonight Matt and Kristin came over and we watched Back to the Future. Now bedtime.

Gernight! Love to all!

Day 31 - I can barely keep my eyes open

Today was so exhausting. I was at the school from 9-6ish... although, my schedule at the U was earlier AND later than that most days, but when you are up on your feet or dancing or rehearsing for that entire time it is pretty draining. But you know what? I love it. It only makes me realize how much better I need to do and how much more I need to take care of myself.

In dance today we were doing our warm-up and Justin (our instructor) was kicking our butts with the cardio portion and some people yelled out from pain/fatigue/to be obnoxious, and I thought, "Isn't it incredible that I have this body that functions? And that I can do these movements?" Then I thought, "If he doesn't stop making us do jumping jacks I'm going to kill him." BUT, I did have a moment of gratitude for the incredible gift that is my body.

Also, since I've been here I have seen more tears that I know what to do with. Everyone is very emotional. Between 10 girls' PMS and long-distance boyfriend trauma, two gay guys who frequently tell us about their relationship drama (not with one another), and all of the stress and emotional tension that comes with portraying these freakishly messed-up characters, it's like coming to a Group Therapy session every class. We have gotten to know each other quite well in such a short time - that's what happens when you are tapping into intimate parts of yourself to bring your emotion to the work. It's just been a crazy journey so far.

Tonight I go to bed so happy and so hopeful.

Love love.