Alex Grey

I'm sharing it because I want the world to know it exists and hope you don't take it for granted. He is brave enough to bare the parts of the soul I think we all wish we could... :)

"It's as though we are co-conspirators of consciousness--everyone, everywhere, everywhen, mixing up our openable minds. It's as though we could gather clouds in the sky and people into our lives. Like an eruption of consciousness, we discover the most important force is love. Experience yourself as the Source and appreciate every moment as perfection."
-Alex Grey

AV

My second gift of Christmas

I suppose this is a Christmas story.

I was working at the hardware store today at the cash register. A little old lady came up to the register with graphite lubricant stuff for keys. We made eye contact and I said "Hi. How are you?" She kind of laughed and replied with a German accent. "Just fine." I rang her up and blah blah blah. She was saying "I hope I can figure out how to use this. When you don't have a man around it gets much more difficult. I'm not used to these things. Lightbulbs and ahhh." I complimented her on her bravery and assured her she could do it. She started walking away and saw a tree at the front of the store as she was going out. She exclaimed, "What a straight tree!"

We talked about the tree for a while. She really liked it. I told her how much it cost and she liked it more. It comes with lights already on it, it's very straight (apparently), and I somehow ended up telling her that we could deliver it to her home.

Uhhh. We don't deliver to people's homes. But I was going to deliver that very straight tree to Agnes one way or another.

I sold her the tree and got her phone number, told her I'd call her tonight before "we brought it by." And she left with the happiest smile I've ever seen in such a short German woman.

Well the night went on and eventually I had to confess to my manager and coworkers that I had promised a delivery, and asked permission to use a company truck. We didn't have any company trucks. So I asked permission to use a coworker's truck. Luckily he said yes.

I arrived at Agnes' door and she answered immediately. She cried in glee that I had arrived. Yes, I had arrived. I was still shocked that I had even gotten the tree into the truck in one piece. She didn't want it in the box. She wanted the whole tree to be delivered and placed in her living room exactly as it had been in the store. I hauled it out of the truck and tromped into her home and tripped on a rug and set it down in the corner by a piano and a bookcase. Her home was beautiful. Everything was antique, and everything was clean, and everything was German.

After a few impossibly perfect moments of comedic timing ("A little to the left. Not that left. Back. Yes. More in the corner. Out, just a bit. There.") it was finished. I stood up, handed her the electric cable and she plugged it in. We both cheered =)

She said "I have something for you." She handed me some cash and this:

German biscuits. She corrected my pronunciation of it and said "They are very good. Not too sweet, not too sweet, very good for you, German biscuits." I thanked her so much and we embraced. She said "You brought Christmas into my home, you beautiful girl!" I think my heart burst into red and green Christmas glitter at that moment.

It was very cool to experience that today... it felt like such a gift, and I'm so glad it happened.

AV

Too busy gazing at stars...

Heyyyyyy ya! Hey ya.

Lots of new things! Get ready..... go.

(1) Un: For those of you who didn't read the Hair post and won't read the Hair post and want to know about Hair in this post: Hair was awesome. Great experience. Great. Great. Grate. GR8! LOL! JK 9er 9er... (Text-speak is gross, people. Stop doing that.)

(2) Deux: I am stoked on a lot of things, but this is pretty neat. I've audited two classes at Playhouse West, observed the students and directors and really enjoyed myself. I was impressed with the work and felt my heart pulling towards it, just begging me like a kid begs his mom for candy. "Can we go? Can we take classes? Pleeeeease!" So when I met with the founding director I remained very calm while my heart railed against my ribcage like that little kid, begging permission to take classes. He said yes, and then spelled my name incorrectly, and now I get to go play at acting school in North Hollywood.

(This photo taken approximately 30 seconds after leaving the school, sent immediately to Tristen's phone, and now hangs on the fridge under a magnet that says "Must Have Coffee")

(3) Trois: The Hardware store! My workplace. Well, I AM NO LONGER A CASHIER. But I'm still in Hardware store country, only now I am the ADMINISTRATION OF SALES office chick person lady ninja. I actually asked for ninja to be in my title but Steve said he can't fit it on the business card. I said "I get business cards?!" Then I said "It won't fit... pshhh... that's because you're not a ninja." Anyways people listen up here: If there's one thing I do better than shootin' the shishkabab in Spanglish with customers who set their chihuahuas on my counter, it is ADMINISTRATE. What does that even mean? It doesn't matter. I will get my hands on some Excel spreadsheets and wheely chairs and a legal pad for note-taking, and this sounds so sweet. Almost as sweet as the sound of receipt paper printing... or babies crying or cell phones ringing or my favorite word EVER: "Where's..." followed by some graphic hand gesture that I am to decipher as being somehow related to the item this person needs... I could probably move into Major League Baseball at this point and become a secret ninja code reader of plays they are going to do... I envision myself sitting in a niiiice box with binoculars and a big stogey in my mouth saying "Yeahhh see, he's gonna bunt see... then he's gonna look fooooor... a paint roller! but he's not sure what - hm - oh! not sure what size, but it's a 9" and he needs Purdy brand. Only Purdy." So I'll be doing office stuff, essentially. That's about all there is with that. I'm extremely happy. ProMOtion. Fun.

(4) Quatre: I know what you're thinking, "So Alison that's neat but ummm how come you're not in New York?" Well, okay, fine. I will tell you because I realize that a lot of you have been following me for years and waiting for your tickets to my shows... And part of truth is that I'm not there YET. Another part of the truth is that I'm here NOW and I'm learning about why that is. I'm learning that this is an extremely important time in my life and I'm laying some crucial foundations for myself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. I'm working toward a whole self, and working towards wellness.

I've also found that I'm content with the idea of being here if it means I'm getting work. I'm in a good place with some really great contacts that I'm pursuing. If they can employ me, is it right to let it slip even even though I'm in LA right now? Nooope. So we'll see what happens and let it keep happening. I'm happy to let it be.

Thanks for reading, those of you who crawled to the finish line with your eyeballs gasping for gatorade. I'll splash you with some, here, *splash* That's better.

Lots of love.

AV

HAIR closure

All rightay. Here you will find (in this order): Videos, Reviews, and a few of my thoughts about the production experience.

1.) Video footages:

- My solo number, titled "Air" followed by a monologue to my unrequited love, Claude.

- The group singing at the Be-In, and my fun high part during "Hare Krishna"

- The group singing the title number, "Hair."

2.) Reviews:

- Santa Barbara News-Press "Let The Sunshine In"

- The Santa Barbara Independent "HAIR at Center Stage"

- Noozhawk "HAIR Goes Back to Its Roots"

3.) Thoughts:

I feel like being in HAIR was certainly something I needed to experience at some point in my career, and I'm glad that it happened when it did, in the place that it did, with the people that it did. I learned a great deal about character development - what's healthy, what's dangerous, what needs to be part of the process, and what can take you too deep. Throughout the process I continually longed for some guidance and direction that could have "brought me back" from the hard places we discovered in the show. This is a work about peace - not in the cliche "peace signs on my Abercrombie and Fitch shoulder bag" way. It truly is about finding peace in your own way and by opening your eyes to the resources around you to obtain peace within ourselves, peace with one another, peace with the world. Every time I sang or talked about the stereotypical ideals and traditions of "hippies" I realized that they were just like those that the religious groups who admonished them claimed to believe: treat each other well, treat the planet well, don't resort to violence, be generous with what you have, praise God/Nature through music/art/poetry. This is the mindset that Jeanie thought in. It was the mindset of the Tribe she called her family.

Post-production has been really good for me. I haven't crashed as hard as I did after past productions... I've quickly gotten back into a rhythm at both jobs, back to my normal workout routine, and back to the simplicity of my walks and bicycle rides instead of the train/motorcycle/bumming rides/wondering how I'll get to the next thing. The weather in California this time of year is divine. I'm fully stoked on it.

The support I felt throughout the production experience is indescribable. Of course I had my family behind me - I couldn't believe how my parent bots made it possible for Mama Vance to fly out and see the show. Tristen saw the show three times. There were nights when the community really turned out to be supportive... But aside from that, and probably more crucial in a production like this was the support from the Tribe. I was initially very surprised to find myself so easily embraced by my cast-mates, because most of them had worked together in previous productions and I thought I might have to fight to prove myself to them. Not so. We really did become a family. I felt a real relationship with each cast member individually, and then felt the satisfying weight of belonging within the Tribe. I was so grateful to generous partners onstage. I was so thrilled when I saw my colleagues succeeding, and so humbled by lessons I learned from them.

I was thrilled to find that my sight-reading skills haven't diminished like I thought they might in the months since graduation, and learning the music came really easily once I had a score in hand. (Yes, it's thought of as simple stuff - but we didn't just start singing it like they do on the Original Cast Recording, despite having been sent that to "learn" the music beforehand. We plunked notes and made revisions and did the work) It definitely felt good to have a score again :)

I will (selfishly?) add that from the beginning I committed myself to grow from this intellectually, and I kept that resolve for the entire process. I researched every single reference in my script that I couldn't explain thoroughly right off the bat, and even those that I thought I could. I learned SO MUCH about the time period, the music, the clothing, the political views, the nightmarish draft process... It's worth investigating on your own, if you have a chance (and if you've made it this far into the post, proving that you can read lots of words in sequence... you're well on your way) and the motivation to dig up some world history.

The only way I can describe the feeling I walked away with is probably scary, but might get it across... I feel like a junkie who finally got her fix. Truly. I needed to do a musical so badly. It had been FAR too long (my last staged musical production was the Bacchae Rock Opera thing at the U of U Fall 2009) and I had been literally starving for it. Validation is sweet. Once again it confirmed that this is my genre, this is my time to pursue it, and it is 100% realistic for me to have a career path in this field. I have the talent, the drive, and the patience to manifest it.

I deeply believe that we can have whatever we want... we just can't decide when. But I've committed myself to work on my craft in whatever capacity, whether it be a community theater project or alone at the Palace - and when it's time, I'll be ready :)

Peace.

AV

Pointless

No false advertising here, this really is pointless.

AV

My first review :)

Hello all,

I have tons of photos and things to update about as far as the OPENING WEEK OF HAIR! But I also have no time and I'm just posting this to share a fun moment I had - getting my first review... Take a look.

AV

Please enjoy the music while your party is reached.

Take a look-see at our kickstarter for HAIR.

Wellness and Swellness

All right, my precious'es. Welcome to a new post. This is the one where I upload a bunch of random photos and try to fill you in on my life. First of all, I've had an epiphany and I've recommitted myself to walking the road of wellness. I've been taking some small steps (and a few really big steps) to discover who I am and where I fit in life. It all starts here...

...at the train station. I take the train up to rehearsal. It rides along the coast and is absolutely stunning. Best 45 minutes of my day.

This is the view from the bridge I cross on my way to work. I got Manny fixed so I can ride my bicycle again. The early morning walks have been amazing, too - I've seen seals eating fish in the water below! I have some videos on my iPod... I should try to upload them...

And then I throw in some Daily Domination, like beating Super Mario World on my Game Boy. No big deal. Just saved the princess.

This caught my eye while I walked around Paseo Mall. It is nice.

And these lovely things.

This was my view from a little cafe I went to before rehearsal the other night. That apple pie was delicious.

Cafe sidewalk and rocks in a pot and tree and things.

RAR! I am the Wellness Dragon and I am here to burn your destructive habits! Stand back! I will protect you from yourself!

You see? Everything is happening as it should should should, and the Universe is good good good. I have an audition this Thursday night for a little gig called Speaking of Stories. Fun.

AV

Becoming Jeanie

Hi everyone...

Tonight I tried on the infamous preggo belly. Here is a photograph from my phone:

The belly is too high, I know. We have some kinks to work out. And the gentleman who surprised me right before the photo was taken (notice the surprised eyebrow, eh?) is playing Berger, one of our main dudes. He was rehearsing music, hence why the pianist's mouth is slightly open (awkward). Anyways this is my dress and belly that now comes with being Yochana "Jeanie" Marie Lerner. Ta dah!

We had a good rehearsal tonight. It ended with a character-building exercise with the group. We paired up and faced our partner, then were told to see them with a certain intent. For example Adam (above photo) also happened to be my first partner, and as the group found partners our Assistant Director would give prompts like "In this partner, see all of his/her joy." So then you just look and explore and learn about that person's joy without using words. Then we moved, and also found partners to share sorrow, appreciation, teacher, enemy, and soulmate with.

Funny that my soulmate ended on the kid who is playing Claude - Jeanie's unrequited love interest! :)

Lots of good things will happen with this show. I'm excited about how the process is going so far. We have a run-through of Act I this coming Sunday!

Peace.

AV

Vance Birthday Pants

Yay! I was born. Today was ye olde celebration with family, friends, and many a cupcake.

Mom, birthday girls Alison and T

Steeeeeben Boo Bear

"Oh, sorry, we didn't see you. We were toasting. With cupcakes."

Le Ryan, Le Alison, Le Esteven.

YEP. IT'S AN EPIC CUPCAKE TOWER OF WONDERFULLY MAGICAL FANTASTIC-NESS.

Don't be jealous.

California, je t'aime.

AV

Family extravaganza

My parents are in town, which is the best. This morning we went to Mrs. Olsen's for breakfast and had an epic feast... I love breakfast so much... And we sat outside in the lovely morning foggy weather.

The girls! Alison, mom, Tristen

Adorable. Like pulling teeth.

Vance Nation

AV

Jeanie!

All right, my seven faithful readers, it's time to let the sunshine in and rejoice in the hippie era. I will be playing Jeanie in the upcoming production of HAIR at Center Stage Theater this fall! The company I'm performing with is called Out of the Box Theatre Company, and this is their blog: http://outoftheboxtheatre.blogspot.com/

I'm SO STOKED to play Jeanie, the pregnant hippie. After some interesting callbacks where I was given a slide of Sheila and asked to sing her solo piece of the show, I thought there might be a chance I would be asked to play her. But after doing a chorus song with the other actors I think my voice is more needed for the chorus, which Sheila might not sing very much on, I'm not sure... Either way, I'm completely thrilled to be working onstage again!

Thanks for your support and good wishes while I was auditioning!

AV

Are you going...

....to San Francisco?

The Ninja took us on a 9-hour journey to the Northlands of San Franny himself.

Surf Motel: one out of ten. So, ten out of ten.

I'ma stand on this bed.

Our room: completed by a shower with no handle.

Gallery strolling on Geary.

Favorite.

Boy + Bike = <3

Bold.

Ninjas.

Lombard! We went down the crooked street and everyone was taking photos of us.

Agreed.

My favorite part of San Francisco! The Sea Lions at Pier 39!

Hey, Jude.

I rode a PANDA on a Merry-go-Round (my favorite activity of all-time), and it was epic.

DOMINATION!

We had an absolutely amazing adventure, with so many fantastic stories to make the 9-hour motorcycle trips completely worth-it.

AV

A few things

1. Ryan and I went sea kayaking today! It was very fun. A gorgeous afternoon - we went all around the harbor and I felt like I was rowing a gondola through Venice: all the beach houses on the water, birds flying overhead, boats sailing and puttering around. It was fun to read all the names of the ships and to wave as we passed boats and other kayakers. Fun!

2. Life in California has been awesome and I feel so lucky to be here. Sometimes I get frustrated because I am broke and invisible, but I am learning to accept that this "transition" is not a transition - it's happening NOW and I am meant to enjoy the moments within it right now as well.

3. I have an audition for HAIR this coming Friday! The production is being put on by a small theatre company in Santa Barbara and the show will be at the Center Stage Theatre up there. I'm realllly excited and I hope I get a callback so that I can participate in the workshop and meet some new actors.... gahhh...

AV

Monday mornings

If there is one thing I have learned about being a cashier, it is this:

You do not want to be the cashier between a customer and his purchase before 8am on a Monday morning. When the line is too long, or the price seems a bit high because the cashier forgot to discount your plant that is 50% off, please do not take out your Monday morning rage on your cashier.

Again: Being a cashier is not for the faint of heart. You must be strong.

Unless you are a barista giving that same customer his morning cup of coffee. That cashier is forgiven for anything, but a hardware store cashier...? It's over. He hates you forever.

my day off

me, sunflower, tyson, ryan

AV

laughter

this is joy:

essentially i was trying to hum and whistle simultaneously to the tune of "Waiting For A Girl Like You" by Foreigner. i will post a techno version of the aforementioned song in the near future. stand by.

AV

Audition news = wahhh.

Well friends, I did not receive a contract with Stiletto Entertainment for the cruise line entertainer. I was disappointed and upset so I had a small grieving ceremony and took a big breath. I'm grateful for my family's love. Whew.

Friends are all souls that we've known in other lives. We're drawn to each other. That's how I feel about [my family]. Even if I have only known them a day, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to wait till I have known them for two years, because anyway, we must have met somewhere before, you know."

-George Harrison

AV

Inception

Last night we went to see Inception, written/directed by Christopher Nolan and music by Hans Zimmer. The cast was phenomenal and smartly costumed, the writing was fantastic and each character was completely believable which convinced me that the story was not only possible by completely realistic. Allegedly Nolan was writing the script since he was like 15, which would explain why it was such a thorough and clean execution of the story. That film is the work of a lifetime. I was laughing when I realized that at the time he began writing it, Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't even born yet. So he was writing a role for an actor who didn't even exist yet. He was also writing a story that required technology that hadn't been invented yet. How crazy it must be to watch a lifetime of politics unfold, technology reveal itself, actors grow up and become perfect for your film, and all of these other factors that came together to make such an epic and satisfying film.

My cousin Stephen said that Nolan had it in writing that if he made 1 billion dollars from "Dark Knight" he could do whatever he wanted. Inception was made on that promise and I'm so stoked it was! Such a good film.

AV

Favorite things:

#3: Spooning