"Mediocrity the Musical!"

Scene: [A girl in her early twenties strides up to a soap box in a public square. She takes her place, clears her throat, and projects the following words...]

This is my frustration:

Last night I did my reading for one of my classes. In class today the teacher, instead of expounding on what we read and having a class discussion on that material, ended up paraphrasing everything the reading had described. This class time was ultimately spent to catch up the 95% of students who hadn't opened the book and used their eyes to intake the information. In fact, paraphrasing might be too generous a statement...

When I expressed this situation to fellow students they voiced similar, if not identical, experiences. Why is this mediocrity an accepted practice? Is this a generational issue? Is it just this University? Is it that fact that we are Undergraduate students? What is happening?! Why aren't we expounding on one another's ideas, delving deeper into material that is relevant to our fields of study, challenging opinions and getting our hands dirty? Why did I not walk out of that class with clarity, inspiration, and food for thought?

I didn't actually learn anything new - I learned more from doing the reading on my own than I did from sitting in impatience for 50 minutes, waiting for the time our teacher would give some new information or spark some debate.

*sigh* I tried to just "let it go," but it has been bothering me all day.

"The foundation of every state is the education of its youth."

-Diogenes Laertius

I'm really back. Really, really.

Hello all. It has been a couple of weeks since my last post. How depressing! Nothing amazing or noteworthy here... WELL, okay that's not true. Here are some things that have brightened my existence since I've been home:

• Finally feasting my eyes on the Rocky Mountains. Today as I walked across campus I was once again struck by their epic beauty. I was crossing the plaza of the library and had to catch my breath when I saw them - just bold and huge and unforgiving. It is amazing to me how they can evoke such emotion simply be being. The colors are earthy this time of year and the clouds occasionally kiss the tops as if to say, "Oh hello, massive piece of land that thrust up through the earth's crust! Here, have a kiss!"
  
• Seeing Manny again! I love my bicycle! He is a good boy. He needs some fixing up and fine-tuning but we will be riding soon!
  
• Living with the Schmidts. They are so good to me. I am still living out of my suitcase and I am barely home, but I have a bed to sleep on and the best roomies in the world...
• Driving in cars??? I guess I forgot about this over the summer, but when Peggy picked me up from the airport I was tripping on the fact that I was riding passenger seat in a car. I took a few taxis in NYC, but never drove in a CAR. It was so weird.
• I have slight agoraphobia here. The streets are SO WIDE and there is SO MUCH SPACE and the buildings are SO SHORT. I miss the claustrophobia!
• Seeing familiar faces :) I got my sushi fix with Ruby, my backyard barbeque fix with Kyle, my Cafe Rio fix with Austin, my home-sweet-home fix with Bryan, my Pie fix with Patreek, my girl-talk fix with Leah, and now that school has started - I am overwhelmed with friends and colleagues here in the Music building.

Something important: I fall asleep to crickets here instead of cars. Let me explain:
Last night I was writing in my journal and paused for a moment. I looked up and rested my pen against my lips and closed my eyes. The music from my laptop was transitioning songs, and during those three seconds of silence I heard crickets coming from outside. I quickly paused the music before the next song played and resumed that still position. I listened to the crickets for a good ten minutes. I closed my journal and got under the covers. I listened and smiled and fell asleep. How wonderful that 2,000 miles away some girl in her bed was settling in for the night and heard the city traffic, smiled, and fell asleep to it.

I am amazed by life and its transitions. I am humbled by the opportunities I've had at such a young age. I will happily anticipate the adventures to come.

"It's not New York or Hawai'i, buuuuuuut it's where we live!" -Kyle Martin

Love to all.

**video of my cabaret number

Cabaret Number: "Life of the Party" from The Wild Party

I apologize for the glare - I had to record this from my laptop onto my camera and then upload it. Enjoy!

A Fond Farewell

"All artists are joy seekers - seeking extraordinary experiences for the soul, the spirit..."

-Alan Langdon

[click here for beauty and truth]

Welcome to the final NYC post! (This blog will remain open but not updated daily and will probably not be as epic as my NYC adventures have been!)

Last night Group D spent the evening together at Blockheads - a Mexican Grill in midtown. The food was really good... the ambience of the evening was simply blissful, and I was so happy to spend the evening in good company, among my colleagues.

My new favorite thing: "sky-stamps"

My third and final scene partner, Miss Laura de Paris. 

Steppin' out:

GROUP D LOVE

We were fortunate to have a rooftop view of the city on our final night together. The lights were truly exquisite and made me feel emblazoned with all my new skills and experiences I get to take home with me. :) I was humbled and happy to be looking at my favorite city with a smile on my face and a night breeze in my hair. This photo does not do it one bit of justice, but I had to at least include it.

As the night when on with laughing and talking and reflecting, our ranks dissembled one by one. Lots of tears and pictures and promises to keep in touch. The phenomenon of COMMUNITY has never had such a unique meaning to me.

When I fly home tomorrow I think I'll probably write in my journal for the entire flight and devote myself to recording this Summer Saga. I am content to leave this place in the mentality of "pausing" my time here instead of closing any metaphorical door. I will be back, and I'll be welcomed with open arms.

"I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of the New York skyline. Particularly when one can't see the details. Just the shapes. The shapes and the thought that made them. [Come] to New York, stand on the shore of the Hudson, look and kneel. When I see the city from my window - no, I don't feel how small I am - but I feel that if a war came to threaten this, I would like to throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body."

-The Fountainhead

Signing off. 

LOVE TO ALL.

Wednesday: An Itchy Day

WOW. WHAT A DAY! If you want photos, there are a few below. Otherwise, enjoy the ride.

This day was full of fabulous discoveries and moments. I am trying to type quickly in my tired state because I feel it is important to have a record but I also want to sleep so badly.

1. I had a terrible, traumatizing night of not being able to sleep because of these mosquito bites. They are too horrendous to even think of posting on the blog. It's just a bad situation.
2. Laura and I were scheduled to do our scene in class today. We were playing Alice and Julie from The Pizzaman, a humorous play about these two dysfunctional, selfish roommates. Our rehearsal before class went well...
3. DOING THE SCENE was probably one of the most interesting experiences I have had here at Circle this summer. It went NOTHING like any of our rehearsals. We were off text, we were all over the place in the scene (in a good way) and it felt extremely realistic in some moments to the point that I wanted to stop the rehearsal and check in with reality. (Real reality...)
4. After class I had to kind of separate myself and think things over. There were several things that did not go as I had hoped in that scene. I was left a little disappointed, but had quite an epiphany in other ways.
5. Dance was good... we learned Thriller because it was our last day of class and it was fun and funny and things. Meh.
   
6. Voice class. Speech class. Derka der.
7. Grabbed a snack with Laura to discuss the scene. AAAAND got my Cabaret DVD! I am super disappointed to find that I don't think I have a way to upload it from the DVD... SOOOO I may have to FILM IT from my camera and then POST IT as a video. We'll see how THAT goes.
8. Andrew met me in Midtown and we came back to apartment, grabbed some dinner, and headed to Central Park to wait stand-by for ... THE BACCHAE! (The Bakkhai) It is being performed at The Public and tonight we were fortunate enough to see their second preview night. The production was actually really good - interestingly staged, the chorus was a significant part, Dionysus (Jonathon Groff) was fabulous. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Other characters... meh, I had mixed feelings. It's been interesting to take what Sybil talked about and to "see what satisfies me" and "pinch it" (steal it for my own use) and "see what doesn't satisfy me" and avoid it at all costs. Rather than "critiquing" or anything... very cool.

Enjoy some pictures. The city was LOVELY tonight. A little breeze, the theatre is outdoors and we were on the front row. The sky changed from blue to indigo to purple to navy to black in the time we were at that show. It was absolutely riveting in the way it added to the drama of the production. I was extremely happy to be experiencing The Bacchae in that way.

Love to all... I mean that. :)

best compliment = "you're good with words"

Words to describe my day:

(for the most part completely unrelated from one word to the next)

• over-easy
• legs and wheels
• giddiness
• useless information
• crossword domination
• leftovers
• rehearsal
• recollection
• panic
• retrograde
• things
• heat
• meditation
• disappointment and departure
• wet braids
• mosquitos
• "wezzewoir"
• mosquitos
• hungry hippos
• rebellion and privacy
• stamping the sky and painting the lines
• mosquitos
• an absurd number of mosquitos
• painful realizations
• tearing out the sutures
• relief (literally)
• 30+ mosquito bites

Moral of the story: Don't act on impulse if you can't handle the repercussions of feeding an army.

** A brief story: in Voice class we are encouraged to flutter our lips to relieve tension. This is also something we do in my Yoga classes occasionally. It has become a nearly-uncontrollable habit. I was sitting on the subway on the way home and let out this giant flutter and startled the woman next to me. I said, "Sorry. Just... relieving stress." We both giggled for about 30 seconds. **

something of interest

Now that I've been here, and people know that this is so significant to me, etc, it seems to come cropping up in everyone's lives to have some connection or thought about New York that they share with me. Thanks to Ruby for the following quote:

"I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York's skyline."

-Ann Rand

Sunday: The Final Countdown!

Just one week left in my blessed Manhattan. I can't believe how quickly time has gone... This week will be devoted to enjoying the time with Group D, remaining sponge-like in classes, and parting with great Yoga instructors until we meet again. Also exciting is the fact that my darling Andrew arrives this week on Tuesday! I'll get to see him for a few days before I head back to SLC... upon return I head straight into rehearsals for The Bakkhai and then school starts, so I am go-go-go.

There is really nothing comparable to feeling a storm picking up. I think the way it can effect the pace of my heartbeat, my level of observation, my intake of breath (through my nose if it is delicious-smelling rain), making my hairs stick up on my arms and legs, and several other physical aspects is remarkable. On the other hand we have the emotional side-effects including anticipation, some anxiety about whether or not I'll get wet, etc, and these are also amazing to me. Rain is just a unique experience all-around. Tonight as it started raining I stood up from the bench on the street and walked home. No need to get wet out there this evening, though another time I might have wanted to let myself soak to the bone. Lightning is an exquisite perk of storms. It brightens the sky, exposing only bits and pieces of the things that are hidden from our eyes... tops of buildings or shapes of clouds or true colors of trees... and then its ever-fateful partner, thunder. This aspect of a storm is one that I love the most. Thunder is like a massive tiger purring in my ear. I'm laying down to sleep now and can't wait to hear it humming, drowning out even the splattering rain against my window, until all I can hear is... summer, rain, night, sleep, peace.

Love.

Saturday: me and mommy

The day completely consisted of mommy-daughter time, which is absolutely wonderful to me. We had lunch at Gray's Papaya, took Georgia to Penn Station for her train, checked out the Post Office across from Madison Square Graden, took a bus ride up 6th Avenue, stopped at my school for mom to see (we ran smack into Shannon Romney next to the Gershwin Theatre! Small world!), went to Columbus Circle and watched people and enjoyed the fountains, had an adventure through Central Park (INCLUDING A CAROUSEL RIDE!!! My faaaavorite), briefly visited Barnes and Noble and the NYPL at Lincoln Center, ate dinner at Brother Jimmy's BBQ, and now we are taking a BREAK. We may go to a movie later... anyway, here are some photos!

= 

Love to alllllllll.

Cabaret Day! (Rehearsal vid included)

Hello one and all! Today was the big day of the Cabaret for Group D! We arrived at The Triad around 11:30 with our bags full of food, outfit things, and ways to entertain ourselves for the next 6 hours of rehearsal. I fancied the Game Boy Color (Super Mario Brothers of course) and some reading/crosswords. This is me before the show in a semi-disturbing-to-reveal-to-the-public photo:

I'm embarrassed to include this video but I know all of you are so eager to see my number, and since I won't have a recording of the performance until sometime later next week I will give you a taste of my rehearsal... again, it's JUST a rehearsal... so don't judge me. Mom said my performance was much better, so just keep that in mind. Haha. Okay. I'm going to stop rationalizing. Enjoy.

If you look closely you can see my hair in dozens of tiny elastics, keeping it all bunched up together for what would ultimately turn into THIS hair:

Meet my Cabaret self, Kate from The Wild Party. I have to confess that I RARELY wear even mascara in my life (MAYYYBE on the days we don't have dance), so I think to look this done up was startling to the group hahaha. I was getting some pretty outrageous looks from folks on the streets during our dinner break (I'd look at me oddly too if I saw me walking around in garters and stockings holding a Superman lunchbox).

Based mostly on these embarrassing reactions, Christian and I ate inside Domino's to avoid drawing attention to my hooker-esque self. Ugh. I ate chicken from home. Ta dahhhh...chickenchicken.

The show was a blast - the energy level was so high, everyone backstage was totally committed and hyped up about getting onstage and performing what we've been working on. I was so happy to hear Mom and Georgia cackling away and hooting for my colleagues. Everyone backstage was asking, "Who is that lady?" and were happy that someone was reacting hee hee... I thought, "Who's laugh does it SOUND LIKE? That's my mom!" They cracked up and appreciated where I inherited my laugh. I was proud!

My number was definitely bursting at the seams with energy - all these performing energy that's been stored away for these many months (well, since the Opera in April...) and I was LOVING being onstage. The lights felt good. The crowd was responsive - really pulling for me. I was so absorbed in my number that afterwards, once I got backstage, I collapsed onto the piano bench and just sat there smiling. It was a neat experience. There is something so addicting about that stage and that applause. A very good night.

My dearest, most cherished Stephanie Sundine attended!! See below.

Me and Mommy:

Georgia, me, Mom:

What at great night. Afterwards we walked back to the apartment and chatted about the show and then mom and I ventured out to get a treat. I'm a happy girl. One more week of this great place!

Love to all.

Day 53. "Hello, Herman."

"You've got eyes that show your soul. The stars are shining, I'm just not sure who they're shining for. You got questions for the world? Well everyone around me is full of answers!"

-The Devil Whale

This morning I showed up to school, ready to rock, and our class had been cancelled. Ehhh kind of a waste of time... So, I invited Christian back to the apartment while I made lunch. RAR!

Back at school during our break between Musical Performance and Physical Acting I had a really good time socializing with the group. We all have a love of laughter. This is so important to me and I feel extremely lucky to be surrounded by these good people.

In Physical Acting we stood in our usual circle. Ken said, "Make a face." I pulled the face you'll see below. He said, "Start to breathe like this face. How does this face stand? Start to realize what this face walks like, and then take a walk around the room." We begin to walk. I am slouched, my arms are swinging, breathing heavily through my nostrils. Ken says, "Oh! You see yourself in a mirror! Why not go look at your reflection?" I observe. I am balding. I am wearing a button down shirt tucked into some high-waisted khakis and I am, of course, wearing suspenders (out of practicality). I am quite nervous to look at my reflection. I begin to lick my lips occasionally as a nervous habit. I am swaying a bit from side to side. "Why not remember what your name is and explore saying it out loud?" I lick my lips, I blink rapidly, I look at my reflection. "Hello, Herman." I say in my new voice.

We walk around, introducing ourselves to the others in the group - the other Faces, as it were (you can see their faces in the photo, as well. It wasn't just a silly group shot). I meet the overweight lunch lady Deborah. I meet the shy George with a lisp. We circle up and introduce ourselves one by one. As Ken gets closer to me I get increasingly nervous. I'm here at Actor Camp on my Doctor's orders, who believes this experience will help me with my nervous habits and medical condition (that's a private matter). I'm a Librarian at Morris College (whatever that is) and I live at home with my mother, enjoying comic books and online chat groups. I am ultimately a mixture of Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, The Professor from the Simpsons, and Loraine from Mad TV.

We go through a day at Acting Camp, simulating our classes we take at Circle but experiencing them as these Faces and the characters they brought with them.

The exercise was actually tremendously difficult. Our task was to help one another. We soon experienced tension from the obnoxious and/or more pessimistic Faces. It brought out extreme frustration in some of the group members. I was frustrated, feeling like this became more of an exercise in "staying in character" and trying not to laugh at times. In other ways it was really helpful to me and I found some interesting things I had never known before...

All in all, another good day at Ye Olde Circle in the Pentagon. If you made it this far in the post, I'm glad you took time for Herman. He's pleased to meet you.

Love to all.

Day 52. An Adventure.

'Allo.

Today I walked into the bathroom at the Dance studio to check out my situation in the mirror and as I looked for my reflection I was met by this:

That's cool. A big, gaping, hole where a mirror should be. Totally normal thing to happen, right?

I went down to Laura's to rehearse, got lost, and instead found Washington Park.

I found her apartment eventually, and when I arrived I had a delicious little meal awaiting me!

Another great day here in the city. Xoxo.

Love to all.