keep on keepin on

life has continued to amaze me, and i'm learning every day. i've just finished a production called as it is in heaven at the petit playhouse in oxnard, ca. no i'm rehearsing for a series of one-acts called quills & keys in santa paula. today i auditioned for arsenic & old lace at santa paula and we'll see what becomes of that. the opportunity to perform is never taken for granted - i am lucky to know how special it is.

thanks to two really great guys at vault media i can be seen on TV in The Vault, Episode 2, if you click here (minute 8:52).

and thanks to my day job's need for an actor in their recent commercial i will be seen on KEYT commercial breaks during the morning news, regis & kelly, and america's funniest home videos.

speaking of day jobs, i am still the sales administrator for do it best hardware and having a good time. i'm still living with my sister and i fall in love with california more each day.

i'm learning the truth about who i am and who i want to be. can't be mad at that.

-av

kind of... vomited thoughts

i am eating a turkey sandwich.

ha! as i was writing that thing about the sandwich i realized that my shirt is inside-out... wow, that was awesome. and actually, here's something: as i was writing that i clearly understood why the phrase is "inside-out," which is great thing to understand! (especially if you're 23 years old.)

so, tonight i went on a run with my nephew tyson.

we went to a place known as "pirate park." it is called this because the playground has a big mast and sails and fun pirate ship knick-knacky things. it also has that weird black rubber stuff used instead of gravel/wood chips. i remember how the dust and dirt from the gravel would make my jeans gray at recess. and it felt weird on my hands. so yeah, maybe the black rubber is meant to preserve the washing of jeans, who knows? i don't. how could i possibly know?

if you are interested in experiencing life completely uninhibited, tyson is the ultimate guru. once i unleashed him at the park i said "go!" he bounded in three directions at once, then began sprinting all around, smelling things in a multitude of ways, sometimes with great care and other times in passing as he walked or trotted by, then would be walking a little bit then whoa there he goes he's running and wait! that smelled good what was it.... it's gone. pause. look into the distance at something for no reason. and go! run! run around! run in huuuuge circles that span the entire park and grass is freshly mowed and little clumps fly up behind as the running is so fast and lips are folding back threatening to cover the eyes but it's so worth it cause it's so fulfilling to be running!!! annnnd slowwwing down to find your auntie again and she is there... to pet you give you rubs scratch the ear oh man that was fun... panting is hard...

tyson doesn't like to run over the bridge because the boards move and it freaks him out and i don't blame him but tonight he crossed over like a champion. i wish i could communicate the thoughts and feelings and sights that come from overlooking that harbor because there isn't any hope of giving you a proper description with words.

i looked out and took it in - the boats docked and the boats coming in for the night, the gulls flying low and looking for dinner in the water, the water a steely blue-gray-green washing up over rocks, the wind sweeping over it making skittery patterns along the surface, the white railing on the bridge, the sky transitioning into dusk, the end of the harbor almost in sight... i really did smile. (i do that all the time here.) i ran a little faster. i inhaled a little deeper.

perspective? i guess? i'm trying to think. i just feel like there was too much beauty in that moment for any of it to be unseen, glanced over, or even looked at. i had to immerse myself in it. i had to function from its perspective. then i suddenly thought, felt, and saw in a way that has left me incapable of relaying the mental, emotional, visual impression. tonight on the bridge was an experience - my working definition of an experience.

self immersion into the present moment = experiencing the senses from the moment's perspective.

i need to remember this when my chin is resting in my hand tomorrow at work.

av

A scheme!

This post is brought to you by: Gee... Ah! Grow. Fee?

*SHOOP* Tired and music in your ears and out of breath... jog across a bridge over the harbor. Well done. Okay now think to yourself, What if we don't use airplanes in the future? (Wait, isn't this the future?) What if instead we just step into machines that are like elevators and then press a button that will deliver us to our destination once the doors open? This thought is completely disturbing to you as you're running over the bridge but it just smiles and scoots away... and the sun is setting. It yawns. Every shape and sound becomes a lazier version of itself.

So yeah, you're going to invent Travelators (c) 2011

Travelators may never actually come to fruition. Successful transference from one geographical location to another via Travelator not guaranteed. Fun not guaranteed. In fact, fun not encouraged nor tolerated. Any persons implying the use of fun or acting upon the feeling of fun will be detained and sentenced to instant death by panther. Fulfillment of dreams not included. Travelator is not responsible for the loss of hair, pet snakes, teeth, virginity, taste in music, limbs, winning lottery tickets, wedding rings, left shoes, and/or car keys. Travelator advises any persons with missing left shoes to ask their mother for the whereabouts and/or check under the bed. Should Travelators enjoy creation and success all dog-lovers will be given priority when booking travel in an attempt to mold a more dog-friendly planet and to offer the canine his deserved chance to travel - NOT a cage in a cold dark pit surrounded by luggage. Travelator not responsible for any missing dogs. Especially cute lovable ones.

Shout out to the FDA

Who decided to make packaged foods so embarrassingly impossible to open? Was it the FDA? Well here's the thing, Mr. "I'm the FDA and therefore a big bad cool pants mcgee" : This must STOP! I am giving fair warning to all: Do not attempt to open a package of Tillamook Sharp Cheddar Cheese (sliced, 50 squares separated by little papers) with your BARE HANDS unless you are prepared to exert the amount of effort it would take to win a battle with a zebra... well, actually, it's either that OR you have to forfeit your sacredly-cherished-but-not-usually-necessary ego by using a pair of scissors. You've been warned... the choice is yours. Think twice before you engage in turkey-sandwich-making. Freakin ridiculous.

Scene: Urgent Message

You're late, you're well-dressed, and you're a liar. Pay the taxi driver and give him a good tip, for heaven's sakes. (It's absurd how poorly taxi drivers are tipped.) Leave your coat and hat with the hostess then find a table and try to get the attention of the waitress. She's attractively stressed while taking orders in this claustrophobic space. She hasn't seen you yet.

Scene: Priorities

"There are so many people I want to meet you."

Scene: The Meeting

Here are two gentleman. I picture them as old men with years of friendship and memories between them. You ought to imagine them however you like.

A: Where is truth?

B: Right here. It's happening now.

A: Goes quiet, nods.

B: You and I are not exceptional. Everything about us is quite regular, really.

A: Your top hat. My folding map.

B: Exactly.

They sense that they are about to part.

A: Where will you go?

B: I am undecided... but once I arrive there I suppose I will have found truth. Tips hat in jest.

A: Hands over folding map.

B: Takes the map, looks down at it.

A: Smiles.

B: Looks up. I suppose that now... we're not so regular.

AV